Taking the Limo to the Supermarket

I love Orlando but it’s kind of a peculiar city.

For instance, stretch limos can often be seen idling in front of the local supermarket. It’s not the same one each time, either, as if a blue haired billionaire spinster stopped in to buy fancy cat food.

This morning it was a white one, long enough to seat ten people. The driver stood beside it smoking a cigarette while he waited for his passengers to finish shopping. I’ve seen black limos, too. And of course, once there was that pink stretch Humvee, just in case someone needed fight off an army of blue haired cat lovers.

pink humvee

Not the actual one I saw

Back in Oklahoma, we didn’t see too many limousines except at funerals. Even on those occasions most people preferred their own vehicles, usually driving their nicer extended cab pickups since they were observing a “Celebration of Life.”

Mostly it was kids who chipped in together to rent limos for their prom dances. However, even most of them preferred to borrow vehicles from their older friends. It made for an interesting evening where the townspeople gathered to see their kids arrive in classic Mustangs, convertibles, 1950s pickups, and yes, luxury Humvees. Usually, one or two of the older classics broke down, spouting steam while they were pushed to the side by boys and girls in their evening wear.

In the wealthier Texas oil towns, prom attenders arrived in fancier limousines, as well as Corvettes and Deloreans. And it’s really true that someone occasionally arrived in the helicopter.

I guess it makes sense that you’d see more limousines in Orlando where people come to spend the big bucks for recreation. But I would have figured that the limousines would be for the big concerts, lavish restaurants, and maybe the amusement parks, but not to the grocery store to pick up bread, beer, and baloney.

If I were still a sanctimonious, pontificating pastor who needed to conceal my jealousy, I’d have something to say about wasteful spending and self indulgence. However nowadays, I just think, hey, cool ride. Although I’d prefer a big comfortable motorcycle.

girl on motorcycle

This isn’t me.

I’m more mature these days, at ease with myself as well as others. So I’ll just salute the chauffeur, smile at the passengers and wish them a happy day.

Oh, and as long you’re there, pick me up some wieners and twinkies. And pigs feet. And calf fries if they have em.

3 thoughts on “Taking the Limo to the Supermarket

  1. Dear Mr. Drawl,

    I do not APPRECIATE your MAKING FUN of my precious kitten, Sir Purcacet!!! He SIMPLY MUST have his special brand of cat food.!!! It’s for HIS HEALTH!!!! As for riding in that BIG CAR, I’ll have you know that PINK was the only color they had at the dealership that day!! And that nice man (much MUCH nicer than YOU!!!) gave me a GREAT DEAL!

    In Christian Love,

    Mamie Whizenhunt

    P.S. WHAT in the WORLD are CALF FRIES!?


    • Dear Mamie,

      Thank you for explaining to me about your cat. Our pets are precious, aren’t they?

      Calf fries are cooked testicles breaded and deep fried.


      • Dear Mr. Drawl,

        Yes, my Sir Purcaset is my SWEET DARLING BOY!!.
        You shouldn’t be eating that NASTY old FRIED FOOD!!!

        In Christian love,

        Mamie Whizenhunt


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s